Jigsaw's Failed Test
by The Legendary Warrior-Link
Summary: I believe that if you read the story it will speak for itself. Anyway I hope you all enjoy this random, yet hilarious story I came up with.


The Beach normally was a calm and peaceful place with few eventful days to tell the tale. The only thing different about this (random) Beach today is that it had an odd device on its lush sand, namely a Television.

First off not only should this TV not even be able to function, which oddly enough it could even though there were no visible wires connected to it and no outlets in which to place such wires, anyone who would have passed it by would notice that static was the only thing visible on the screen. Secondly why any sane person would leave a perfectly functioning TV on a beach, especially close to the water where it is bound to get washed away or be shorted out, where some random hobo could steal it, was beyond anyone's ability to comprehend.

All of a sudden the static on the TV ended and it flashed to life showing the image of a puppet with ominous looking eyes, and red spirals on its cheeks. This certainly was not the type of puppet that one would see on a kids show or anything of that sort, it was in fact a very creepy looking puppet, eyes almost appearing to glow red like those of a demon, certainly a very unnerving experience for anyone who would have happened to pass by, which strangely enough on this sunny and bright day no one currently occupied this beach.

"Ocean...", began the infamous Jigsaw puppet, "I demand that you produce a title wave and send it here...", the puppet holds up a map and points to the place where the Saw movies took place, "as those who live here are ignorant of the great goals that I am trying to accomplish for their lives."

"..." the Ocean "said" in response, going about its usual business of letting the waves hit the shore gently not paying much if any (logically one would think that the latter would be the more accurate situation) attention to the figure on the TV screen.

Not taking kindly to the silent treatment Jigsaw tells the ocean his plan of what to do if it does not comply. "Do you think this is funny Ocean?! I am not joking if you do not help me I will destroy you! Up thousands of feet in the air I have a payload of Huggies diapers ready in wait to dry you up, I will give you ten minutes Ocean, make your choice live or die." finished Jigsaw saying one of his many trademark lines. The timer on the screen thus began its ten minute time limit.

"..."

2 minutes later...

"Ocean come on, make some waves." said Jigsaw mild frustration evident in his voice.

"..."

3 minutes later...

"Ocean I am not joking here!" said Jigsaw, frustration growing ever more in his voice.

"..."

4 minutes later...

"Ocean one minute left! Hurry up!" said Jigsaw impatience and anger very evident in his voice.

"..."

50 seconds later...

10...

"Ocean I will do it!"

"..."

9...

"Ocean!"

"..."

8...

"Do you not care about the sea life that resides within you?!"

"..."

7...

"Or what about the animals and mankind?! They too are doomed if you do not comply!"

"..."

6...

"Ocean do you honestly think I am joking!"

"..."

5...

"Damn it Ocean look at the clock!"

"..."

4...

"What will aliens invade now?!"

"..."

3...

"Time is running out!"

"..."

2...

"Ocean!!!"

"..."

1...

Ocean...! I swear to God I promise you I will do it!"

"..."

0...

"That is it Ocean you have sealed you fate!" said Jigsaw now ready to unleash all hell upon the Ocean.

Up above thousands of feet in the air an airplane unleashes its payload of diapers into the Ocean below it. As any logical (notcoughJigsaw) person would expect... nothing happened.

"What...! Nothing happened?!" said Jigsaw in great shock and to his horror this meant that he had actually failed in getting his "victim" into complying with what he wanted them to do. "Ocean...!", began Jigsaw "if you tell anyone about this I truly will dry you up, that was only a small percentage of my payload of diapers! So be forewarned!" finished Jigsaw with his pathetically empty threat. Just then the TV flashed off.

For mere moments afterwards the Ocean splashed the shore gently with its waves as it usually did when all of a sudden a voice sounding like that of what one would hear if the person was underwater as they were speaking, spoke the following...

"WTF?" said the Ocean in response to the insanity that it just witnessed.

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Author's Note: Me and my friend were at the beach this one time and one of the things we talked about was the Saw movies and he came up with the crazy (yet funny) idea of Jigsaw putting the Ocean itself to the test. I thought it was actually a pretty hilarious idea, I couldn't stop laughing for a few minutes after my friend suggested such a scenario. And as a result I decided to make a Fan-Fiction out of it.

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